I skipped work to stalk him.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
