But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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