And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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