I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
