butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
