Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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