My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
