come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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