If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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