Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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