i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
