I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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