And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
