i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
