I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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