This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
