Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
