I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
