I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
