She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
