So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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