There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
