Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just found puke in my bra..
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
there is glitter all over my balls
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
