Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Randomize
