I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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