I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
