forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
