I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
