When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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