I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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