Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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