so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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