Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
