Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
