Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
