Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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