did you get engaged???
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
