sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
