So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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