i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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