i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
