How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
