I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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