i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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