Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
