Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
