Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
