Welp...herpes.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I wish i was in the wii world.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
