the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
