I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
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